Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize