What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
