TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
