walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize