Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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