There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
