Whod you bang
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Randomize
