Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize