We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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