Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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