my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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