Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
