His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize