I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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