I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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