What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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