Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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