I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
