Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
