It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize