Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
