She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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