we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
