Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My bed smells like the plague
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
