I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
