No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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