does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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