Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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