So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
