Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
