so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
