My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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