Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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