im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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