I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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