you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
