just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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