let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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