I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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