i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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