did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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