I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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