tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
dude. I can hear the air.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
