ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
