i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
