I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
