You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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