similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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