If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
