lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize