I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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