drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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