I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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