there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
