Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Is Oprah even human
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
