I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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