YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
