dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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