what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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